


Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - Spike Style

by Highlander_II



Series: Spike's Christmas Carols [5]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Christmas Carols, Crack Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-18
Updated: 2005-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-24 10:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another Christmas, another song; more carolers to eat - again.<br/><b>Disclaimer</b>: Characters belong to Joss Whedon and are property of Kuzui/Kuzui Entertainment, Mutant Enemy Productions, WB, UPN, FOX etc. etc. "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" is a traditional Christmas song and I couldn't even begin to tell you who wrote it other than 'not me'. No copyright infringement intended; 'tis all in fun.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - Spike Style

_  
**So you better watch out**   
_

And why would I do that?

 _  
**You better not cry**   
_

I don't cry. Vampire. Badass. Don't cry.

 _  
**Better not pout**   
_

Now that I do rather well, but why you tellin' me what t'do anyway?

 _  
**I'm telling you why**   
_

Are you now?

 _  
**Santa Claus is coming to town**   
_

You're kiddin' me, right? Bloody hell. I thought I cleared up this Santa thing already.

 _  
**He's making a list**   
_

Heh. I'll bet he's gonna check it twice too...

 _  
**And checking it twice**   
_

See... told ya.

 _  
**Gonna find out who's naughty or nice**   
_

*raises hand* I'm naughty. No profit in bein' nicce.

 _  
**Santa Claus is coming to town**   
_

*headdesk* Santa's gonna come all right; he's just gonna disembowel children while he's here. Get it?

 _  
**He sees you when you're sleeping**   
_

Almost got arrested for doin' the same thing once.

 _  
**He knows when you're awake**   
_

So do I. What's your point?

 _  
**He knows if you've been bad or good**   
_

Never been good. Again - profit.

 _  
**So be good for goodness sake**   
_

Oh please.

 _  
**Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry**   
_

Didn't we cover this already? I. Don't. Cry.

 _  
**Better not pout, I'm telling you why**   
_

The pouting... I'm _good_ at it. I'll do it all I like.

 _  
**Santa Claus is coming to town**   
_

I give the hell up.

 _  
**He sees you when you're sleeping...**   
_

Wait... I'll bet he knows when I'm awake too...

 _  
**Oh yeah, and he knows when you're awake...**   
_

What'd I tell ya?

 _  
**He knows if you've been bad or good**   
_

Yeah... yeah... yeah...

 _  
**So be good for goodness sake**   
_

*snort*

 _  
**Oh, so you better watch out, you better not cry**   
_

Bollocks, not again...

 _  
**Better not pout, I'm telling you why**   
_

You already did. Twice. Could you hurry the hell UP already?

 _  
**Santa Claus is coming to town**   
_

Good. Fine. Glad ya told me.

 _  
**With little tin horns**   
_

No no... please... can't this be over YET?

 _  
**And little toy drums**   
_

Drums. Right.

 _  
**Rootie-toot-toot**   
_

What the bloody hell?

 _  
**And rum-pa-tum-tum**   
_

*looks around cautiously* What the bleeding hell are you bloody smoking?

 _  
**Santa Claus is coming to town**   
_

All right, you know what... I just can't take this anymore...

 _  
**Oh...**   
_

Oh no you don't... *growl* *chomp*


End file.
